One thing I looked forward to about becoming a mom is learning more about myself through my child. And, it turns out that Harper, at just 11 months, and I already have something in common: We are both late bloomers in certain ways.
At nine months, Harper wasn’t yet crawling or sitting up on her own. We brought this to our pediatrician's attention at Harper’s 9-month wellness visit. Her doctor suggested we have her evaluated for early intervention. I had no qualms about it — I didn’t get defensive at all. I was eager to see if she did have any issues impeding her development, and, if so, I wanted to work on them asap. Plus, if the evaluation showed she qualified for early intervention, there are many perks. For one, it’s free help paid by our tax dollars.
I know there are some parents who are in denial and don't want to admit there may be something wrong with their child. I have the complete opposite approach. I trust the experts --- as well as my own gut --- and if there may be something wrong, I want my child to get the help she needs as soon as possible. Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of. That said, I also have no problem being open about my own child's experience getting evaluated and now early intervention to help her in a couple areas of her development. I think most kids these days need some help since we know so much more than we once did.
When I get emails about paid courses to learn some helpful tips for getting your child to the next developmental milestone, I kind of want to roll my eyes. For one, these courses get expensive. Plus, if there really is a concern, your child can get an evaluation from professionals at no cost to you. And, if he or she qualifies, you get free help paid by your tax dollars! (Although some like "How to Perform CPR" are super important, I'd say).
Before Harper's pediatrician referred her for an evaluation for early intervention, I sometimes would feel guilty when I'd across across these types of paid courses but would not take the bite because I can't really afford them. One course here, another there -- it adds up!
It was determined that Harper qualified based on her scores in speech/communication/language and gross motor skills. Interestingly, she has made major strides toward our goals for her in the weeks since. She’s now crawling everywhere and getting in and out of sitting — even trying to stand up in her crib.
The first time we met with Harper’s occupational therapist, she gave me a sensory profile to complete out for Harper. I’ve known for some time that I have some sensory issues, primarily with food and texture of food. When it comes to gross motor skills, our main concern has been feeding. She prefers smooth, pureed baby food — nothing thick or chunky.
I can relate.
I was the worst eater as a baby and as a kid --- and, even now, I'm not the greatest. I still have my sensory issues. My thing is texture of food. I won't eat anything wet or slimy. Basically, this means that all fruit is out. It's not the flavor, but the texture. For example, I love apple juice but don't eat apples. I find tomato soup yummy, but eat an actual tomato? No, thanks. I like my pizzas with sauce that's smooth. I enjoy most margharita pizzas --- except for the ones with whole slices of tomato. And bruschetta bread? I remove all the tomatoes and just eat the bread. \
Often when I eat out, I try to customize my own meals. For example, while eating out one day recently at our favorite local diner, there was a grilled cheese special I thought looked enticing, mostly for the unique bread (I don't remember what kind) and added garlic aoli (or something like that).
So, speaking to the server, I said, "I'd like the grilled cheese special, but can you have certain things removed? So, no lettuce, tomato, onions, or peppers."
The server, with a puzzled expression on her face, said, "You know, there's also the regular grilled cheese on the menu that doesn't have all that added stuff."
"Right, but I really like the bread and the sauce of this one," I replied. "Are we good with removing the extra toppings?"
"Sure, we can do it. If that's what you want..."
I wouldn't say that all of my restaurant experiences go something like this --- sometimes I'll order a meal or sandwich as is! --- but it's not uncommon, I'd say.
So, answering the questions on the sensory profile was interesting, especially when we got to the oral sensory processing section.
Questions like "Prefers one texture of food" and "Has difficulty weening to chunky foods," I checked off as "Almost Always."
There were a couple of other interesting questions here, though. "Holds food in cheeks before swallowing": Now, Harper does NOT do this, but I sure did!
"Omg, Jared," I said to my husband. "I did that! Mostly when I didn't like something. Actually, I still do it sometimes when eating veggies. Oh, and also when drinking coffee."
I do this really weird thing where I'll hold the coffee (I might do it with water, too) in my mouth a few seconds before swallowing it. I like coffee and water, so I'm not doing this to avoid swallowing. Sometimes, Jared will see me with my coffee in my mouth and say, "I love you," knowing I can't immediately say it back --- that is, until I swallow!
"Oh no, you don't love me anymore," he'll say. It's become an inside joke of ours.
"Drools?" he asked, reading the next question and thinking of me. "Only while sleeping."
Then this one: "Uses drinking to calm self." "Sometimes," he said, laughing. "Only it's a different kind of drink."
We were both cracking up at this point. To clear that up, no, I generally do not self-medicate with alcohol. But have I ever had a drink to calm my nerves? Sure.
As for Harper, she drools A LOT (she's been teething now since she was 4 months old), and she sometimes needs a bottle to get calm and fall asleep.
"You know," I said, "I really could have used early intervention myself!"
(I've suspected that I have a mild case of Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder [ARFID] and wrote it about it in a feature for Health Digest.)
"Maybe you need a mid-life intervention?" he jokingly suggested.
I'm sure this is true for so many people. With all the advances in research and things we know today, it's ashame that when past generations were coming of age, we didn't know what we know now.
As Harper gets older and her personality develops more and more, it will be interesting to see what traits and idiosyncracies she has and what she's got from Mommy vs. Daddy and even other relatives. My older nephew, Zach, is a lot like me. And, my younger one, Ryan, has a couple of ways like my mom, so it's definitely a thing.
When she becomes school-age, I will be paying especially close attention, since I believe that I have undiagnosed ADHD that was never caught when I was a kid because I was a high-achiever. In fact, I think I'm not the only one in my family.
For now, I'll stop here. You probably think I'm a self-diagnosing hypochondriac at this point. I'm really not, though, and will explain in an upcoming blog post.
More to come about our little late bloomer (just like Mommy)!
What do you think? Do you think you would have needed early intervention as an infant or toddler? Comments are welcome!
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